he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
