Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i permit you to call me
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
