i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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