dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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