So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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