Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
it's great music for shaving your balls
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
