the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
