Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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