i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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