Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
