Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Let's get the cat blown out
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
