so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize