When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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