His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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