Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
