you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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