I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
