Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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