i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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