It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
