I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
