hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
