I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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