oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
