Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize