I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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