So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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