I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
