my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
