it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize