Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize