I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
