i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
