how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
