your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
