the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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