So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
