The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I am mentally ready for anal.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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