Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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