his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
How's work?
Spinning.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
