remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
