cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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