am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
