Are we in a gay sports bar?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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