this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
why do cheetos always look like penises
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
