i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Randomize
