I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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