oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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