I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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