Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize