I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
