I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
