She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
