Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize