I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
