Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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