Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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