now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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