Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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