I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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