He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
